The Glass Dagger (Afterlife Chronicles Book 1) Page 17
“Dude, it’s always the red wire,” she said showing him by waving it in front of his face and saying with a chuckle,
“You little pickle you.” Then she straightened her helmet as it was slightly too big for her and breezed out of the room just as she had entered it. Theo exhaled a whoosh of air he didn’t know he had been holding onto, in the way one would do when faced with someone who was as far from the ‘normal’ spectrum as you could get like Pip was. It wasn’t just the way she dressed either, but more like someone who was clouded by a demonic aura only also happily trapped inside a glittery rainbow for all eternity.
She reminded Theo of someone who had a split personality and one was a goth and the other someone who Theo would have expected to see dressed up as My Little Pony at some cartoon convention.
“Hey doll face, you coming?” she said after popping her head back around the corner and fanning her fake pink eyelashes that also had silver stars glued to the ends, after granting him a girly wink.
“Yeah, just let me put on some pants though,” Theo said looking down as he was still just wearing his boxer briefs and feeling more uncomfortable by the minute.
“Groove’itude on the plan! Now you go and hide those budgie smugglers and I will see you in two shakes of a monkey butt,” she said winking again and then grabbing herself from behind the door to make it look as if someone else was pulling her out of sight. Meanwhile Theo was still stuck on the whole ‘budgie smugglers’ bit and couldn’t help but do the guy thing and readjust himself out of habit.
“Righty O, my winkle tiddlers, are we all ready for our first lesson, now we are all fed and watered?” Pip asked clapping her hands just as they were all finishing breakfast. When Theo had walked out, this time wearing jeans and to his delight, a vintage looking Black Sabbath T shirt that he had discovered in his new walk-in wardrobe, he had found a breakfast feast waiting for him. Of course, the first thing Zane had said was,
“Cool Tee Theo…and for three points can anyone name the movie this rich genius was wearing this very same T shirt in…I will give you a clue, he totally digs wearing metal pants?” Theo laughed and pushed his shoulder as he sat down, saying,
“Come on Zee, I know its early but don’t just give up trying…that’s easy.”
“Easy? I am still trying to work it out,” Ena said pulling a piece off her Danish pastry and dipping it in the jam.
“It’s Iron Man, in Avengers Assemble,” Janie said shyly, after buttering a piece of toast by pressing the slice up against her cereal bowl and spreading it upwards so the bread couldn’t go anywhere. You could tell this was second nature to her and it amazed Theo just how much skill she had using one hand in every day to day things.
“Ding, ding, ding! Three points for JayJay!” Zane shouted tapping his glass of orange juice for sound effects. Janie bit her lip and let her dark hair fall forward so it would hide her blush.
“I know not this game we play,” Ivan said. Ena patted him on the hand after at least licking jam off one finger first and then said,
“Don’t worry about it, I’m not that good at movie trivia either.” This was the point that Pip had bounced back in the room and Theo had to wonder if she ever entered a space like a normal person.
“Oh, it’s so exciting! Isn’t this just so exciting!? Afterlife’s first day of school…it’s just too brain licking good!” Pip said and then lifted up the plastic heart hanging from the thick gold chain around her neck. One that was actually a green, pastel coloured brain that she then licked to emphasize her point.
Ena shot the rest of them a look and saw the same confusion being reflected back from the others and one that made Pip bend double, letting out a full belly laugh.
“Oh, you should see your faces! I don’t mean we are gonna lick your brain, jeez we’re only demons, not zombies! Now let’s go and learn about some flesh-eating Gorgon Leeches!” she said snapping her teeth twice making her black skeleton hand, lip piercing more prominent. One that Ena noticed matched the black bones that covered the tops of her fingers from the skeleton bracelet she wore. It flexed when she moved her hand thanks to the five rings attached that kept it in place, doing so when she gave them all the peace sign.
“Ebay, sweet chickydees,” she said after catching Ena and Janie staring at it, then flashing her pink eyelashes again as she winked.
“Right those tail feathers aren’t going to shake themselves…well unless there’s an earthquake, but no worries ‘cause we don’t get many around here, unless my husband broke loose that is,” Pip said, talking mainly to herself as everyone stood up.
“Uh…just to elaborate here but your husband was the dude wearing glasses and rockin’ tweed right?” Zane said looking slightly worried.
“That’s my Hubba Bubba,” she said boastfully and then thrust her fist out that had ADAM, her husband’s name tattooed proudly across her knuckles, surrounded by hearts and flowers. Then she placed a big smacker on his name, kissing it twice for all to see. Janie and Ena both looked at each other and mouthed the sound ‘Aww’ at the same time.
“Isn’t Hubba Bubba a bubblegum?” Theo asked Zane ignoring the mushy stuff unlike the girls.
“I don’t know but why am I the only one concerned with the part when she said a word like ‘earthquake’ and combined it with even more words like ‘husband’ and ‘broke loose’?” Zane asked the others, making Pip giggle before she said,
“Oh, my little Padawans, you have so much to learn and speaking of that itch, let’s go and have a scratch, shall we.” At least this time Theo knew what she meant but with the usual confused look from their favourite Russian, she looked seriously to Zane, pointed to Ivan and said sternly,
“You need to get this one Star Wars and stat.” Then she turned abruptly and stopped before she walked out the door and added an afterthought,
“Oh, right…let’s change that ‘stat’ into a ‘statute pending’, we gotta get you crumpets to your first class and guess what…” She paused for dramatic affect and motioned for the rest of them to come in close before she whispered…
“It’s Demonic History.”
20
Supernatural 101
Pip led them all to the modern looking classroom that they guessed they would be seeing a of lot of in the future. Each of the techno pods (as Pip had called them) had been assigned to them, but when they all just stood around waiting to be told which was theirs, Pip just said,
“Well go on then pickles, pick your buns.”
They seemed to automatically pick their favourite colours, all except Theo, who stood back and waited. Ivan went for the orange one that was the same colour as his beloved basketballs. Ena went for the blue that was the exact colour of her streaks and Janie the hot pink one that matched the raised skull on the rug back in her room. Zane’s was a deep blood red colour as it was always a paint he chose for his art work, being something that morbidly always drew the eye in.
That only left Theo and as he had never really thought about his favourite colour, he naturally just chose the remaining one, the rich purple one positioned at the front. Their individual work stations had everything they needed for the academic side of whatever it was they were here to learn, but first Theo needed some clarity. So, after they had all settled in their pods, Pip asked,
“Is there anything else I can…?”
“Yes, you could finally tell us what we have changed into and what we are doing here,” Theo asked abruptly, cutting Pip off.
“Dude, blunt much,” Zane said popping his head around the adjoining pod.
“It’s about time we got answers Zee and I don’t know about you but I have hit my limit on waiting for them,” Theo replied knowing that deep down this had all been fuelled by that damn book.
“I uh…well…I…” Pip started to try and find the answer to the question, when a musical voice finished it for her.
“I think I will take it from here, thank you Squeak.” An elegant woman said after entering the room as
one could only image an Angel doing. There was simply no other way to describe her graceful beauty. She had a timeless look with her soft, pale porcelain skin, big dark eyes and long ebony curls swept back off her face, cascading down her back.
Ena couldn’t help but admire her classic style, with her navy and white thick striped pencil skirt, white wrap around shirt and tailored navy blazer, complete with matching heels and a string of pearls. She looked just like a film star walking on set ready for her close-up with Cary Grant and Grace Kelly.
“Ice cool beans, sister boss man,” Pip said giving her a high five and surprisingly it didn’t look out of place when she returned it, as it looked as if it was something that had been done a few hundred times before. Although this was Pip they were talking about, as she probably high fived the janitor and made it look cool.
“Laters, you Supernatural legends you,” she said firing imaginary guns at each of them in turn before she twirled out of the room like a five year old girl dressed as a princess would do.
“For those of you who may not remember, I am Sophia Draven, your Demonology teacher,” she said in a sweet voice and Zane coughed once to clear his voice and muttered,
“As if we could forget, eh Theo?” Theo laughed once but didn’t agree as it felt strange thinking of her that way, no matter how hot she was. No, Theo was more into the quiet, shy type of girl and as soon as he thought this he couldn’t help but snatch a glance towards Janie, who was hiding herself away under a large hooded sweater.
Sophia hid a smirk behind two fingers as she walked to the front of the classroom tapping her red lips in thought.
“We remember you, you’re the King’s sister,” Theo said speaking up and making it known that he knew who the headmaster really was, thanks to Pip. She raised an eyebrow at him and said,
“Among other things, yes I am.” Theo frowned wondering what that was supposed to mean. Thankfully he didn’t have long to wait, as the answer came from a high-pitched voice at the other end of the room.
“Oh yeah, I’ll say. This awesome chickadee is also married to the pale albino, kickass assassin Zagan, whose hotness also controls a shed load of legions in Hell…what? Okay, okay, my bad, I’m going, I’m going!” Pip said after she received folded arms, a raised eyebrow and a tapping foot from Sophia. She had obviously been listening by the door and couldn’t help but add something to Sophia’s introduction, letting the others know that there was more than meets the eye with this one.
Theo couldn’t help but wonder what else they were going to discover about their new teacher by the time their first lesson was over. Well, as long as she started by giving them answers then he didn’t care who she was married to. Although he had to admit, he would now be even more careful not to piss her off as it couldn’t be denied, her husband was one scary looking dude.
“That crazy little Imp,” Sophia muttered smiling after Pip had thrown her hands in the air in defeat and had walked out the door pouting like a child refused ice cream.
“Excuse me Miss, but what’s an Imp?” Janie asked raising her hand.
“Ah, excellent question, Janie, as I am sure you are all curious to know what you are but also what we are as well…oh and you can just go ahead and call me Sophia sweetheart, the ‘Miss’ gig makes me feel old,” she said winking and putting them all at ease with her friendly nature. It had to be said, she was certainly less intimidating than her brother.
“Okay, so if you would all like to look at your screens we shall see what history has to say about explaining Imps,” she instructed before turning her back on them and walking behind the desk to start tapping away on her own touch screen computer. Seconds later each of their screens illuminated into life and showed a series of old pictures of artist impressions of what they must have believed an Imp looked like.
“So here we have everything from an old lady depicted as someone feeding little creatures from a chest to one hiding in a tree that looks like a little winged furless rodent from Germanic folklore. And even this one from Japanese folklore, which I wouldn’t let Pip see as it looks more like a dog sized toad with dodgy eighties hair.” They all burst out laughing, not expecting her to have a sense of humour. She tapped a few times more on her screen and a paragraph popped up with a mythological explanation of exactly what history had dictated an Imp’s origins were.
‘Originating from Germanic folklore, the Imp was a small lesser goblin. Imps were often mischievous rather than evil or harmful, and in some regions, they were portrayed as attendants of the gods. Imps are often shown as small and not very attractive creatures.’
“That right is not, small my friend be but pretty she is,” Ivan said standing up, surprising them all. Ena couldn’t help but pop her head around to see Ivan’s screen filled with Russian words telling him what the others had also read and he, like them, was not happy.
“That’s not very kind,” Janie said and Sophia agreed,
“That’s right, it isn’t very kind to our lovely Pipper, but it acts as a good first lesson for you to learn,” she said coming to stand in front of her desk before leaning back against it, casually crossing her legs in front by the ankle and folding her arms.
“In this new life you face, you will soon learn that a human’s history about our kind is far from the truth. You must first unlearn everything you think you know about Heaven and Hell, and in doing so embrace your new life by accepting our own history in its place.” She took a minute and nodded her head before adding,
“Now this doesn’t mean we are asking you to turn your back on humanity, quite the opposite actually, as you will need to wear it often to veil your true selves…that of course will be where Pip’s husband, Adam will come in handy,” she said pausing, knowing that there would be questions.
“And why exactly do we need Human Studies, ‘cause last I checked, we have all been there, done that and you guys were the ones to take the T shirts off us, so no offense but what qualifies you guys to teach us about the human world when you have never been human?” Theo asked the question that he knew everyone else was too afraid to ask. However, there was nothing but a look of respect in Sophia’s eyes as she gazed upon the brazen teen, a hidden smirk emerging before she answered.
“It’s true, I have never lived a single day as any of you have in the human world, but I have lived among humans long enough to know the importance of fitting in, something great power gained and increased age can erode from memory through time. Losing touch with humanity is a dangerous thing when you still have to walk hidden among them.” Theo understood what she was saying but still needed to know more.
“So, we will be allowed to go outside and interact with the rest of the world?”
“But of course. In fact, you will be encouraged to do so. My dear Theo, Afterlife is your new home, not a prison. How do we expect to teach you about the world if we are to keep it from you? And besides, Pip would never forgive me if she didn’t get to show you Evergreen Falls’ shopping mall and movie theatre,” Sophia said looking to each of them and feeling bad on seeing surprise flickering in their eyes. What had they been led to think coming here. By putting herself in their shoes she realised that they had certainly failed with their first attempt at meeting them down in the club. But no one could have foreseen that outcome…well other than maybe the Oracle, but having her around right now would have been way too simple, Sophia thought bitterly.
“You never know, one day you may even wish to attend the college here and experience a human right of passage, as most teenagers do. I am sure Pip will be more than happy to help you learn the rules of beer pongs,” she said, hoping to further alleviate their worries.
“Sign me up!” Zane said laughing with the rest, but it was Theo who almost sighed in relief. He didn’t know much about the others and how they felt about their uncertain futures, other than Zane’s wisecracks about signing cult contracts this morning. But for Theo, well he had felt lost not knowing if he was still in control of his own destiny and able to
make his own choices freely.
“But before we get too ahead of ourselves, let me explain more about what you are now in our world, instead of what you may want to become in theirs,” Sophia said, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy for either her or them.
“I like we know,” Ivan said and for once, as Theo often did, he was speaking for the rest of them.
“Of course, you do. And I understand how very strange all this may be for you, but please remember we only have your best interests at heart and we are so pleased to be able to welcome you into our family.” They all listened to Sophia’s kind words but none of them could help feeling as though she was also trying to prepare them for what would be hard to hear facts of what they had now become.
“So, what are we exactly?” Of course, this question came from Theo, who quite frankly had had enough of beating around the bush.
“The truth...?” Sophia said making Theo frown at her as his only answer to that stupid question.
“We don’t really know yet.” And with that bombshell dropped the others decided they too had hit their limit.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ena asked with her voice slightly raised, showing her panic was barely being controlled.
“I was trapped, unable to move, suspended in the air!” Ena continued and Janie also jumped in and said,
“And what about those things that came out of me? That black smoke…how could you not know?”
“I be bull like charging creature…I no like this thing I did,” Ivan said standing again and this time raising his hand. Sophia held up her hand and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to get peace back into the room.
“I understand your concerns, I really do, but what I mean is we are yet to find out which…well…which…” Sophia paused, finding it difficult to word the sentence right when Theo decided to wound it up for her in a dark, scary nutshell,